Sunday, September 16, 2012

what to do with procrastination????

Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake..." – Francis Bacon, Sr.

Here it is, the evening before the Jewish New Year, and instead of filling my head with thoughts of the possibilities of the upcoming year, I am experiencing in a very strong and intense way, the procrastination plague.  Oh, you've heard of it?  Where does procrastination come from?  Why is it so difficult to release and even after releasing once or twice, it's like an addiction....in every situation that's a trigger for me, it rears its ugly head. 
Some people say that they work better under pressure, so they procrastinate on purpose, waiting for the last possible moment to have that adrenalin kick into gear, work non-stop for a day or two and produce an exceptional product. 
That's just not me.  I like to plan.  I like to think, rethink, try on, change my mind....it can be maddening.  so maybe for me, procrastination is about perfection.  I want what I do to be good, great, outstanding.  and then the fear of failure kicks in, and oh boy. 
so where am I procrastinating?  this is a good place to begin to alter the cycle.  where does it show up?
I have a work project that's new and exciting and I very much want and need the support of others to succeed.  fear of judgement.  I thought I gave that up.  I'm over 50, I don't care what people think.  This is a bit different: I want my message to get across.  I believe in my message.  The way I present will affect how my message is received.  so I deliberate and procrastinate and even feel some anxiety.
What if I don't do it right? 
As I write this, I am already releasing the tension.  if I don't get it perfect, I will be fine.  there is no perfection.  I just need to start. 
Actually writing this blog is one of the projects that I've been procrastinating over.  so hey, good for me, I took a step.  I'm rambling a bit, but it's opening my thoughts, getting me into action and I'm starting to feel good again.
so here it is:
fthink about times when procrastination was very strong.  where were you at in your life?  what were you trying to avoid?  what feelings were you stuffing?
Identify the thought, the sentence, the belief that accompanied the inaction.
challenge the thought, the sentence, the belief.  try on other options. is it really true or is it a line we've always told ourselves or someone else has told us?
Let go of this limiting belief.  even if you still believe it, let it go.
Ask for help: your partner, your buddy, your best girlfriend...someone you trust.

pick a goal- something very measurable that you just put off.
break it down.
begin. 


Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting like a snowflake..." – Francis Bacon, Sr.

beautiful!
wishing everyone, in every culture, a peaceful, productive and love-filled year.

In joy and peace,
brenda

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.
- Carl Jung
I had a wonderful opportunity to participate in an EFT course this week- Emotional Freedom Technique.  It's a type of therapy that releases emotions that limit us, pain us, and hold us back from reaching our goals. 

The basic premise of EFT is that the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system. When our energy is flowing normally, without obstruction, we feel good in every way.  When our energy becomes blocked along one or more of the body's energy meridians, negative or damaging emtions can develop, along with all types of physical symptoms. The process involves tapping on energy points on the face and hands while focusing your thoughts on pain, unhappy memories or any other problem. The result is that the emotions that contribute to the problem are released along with the energy blocks.
(adapted from EFT for Procrastination by Gloria Arenson, MFT)

  When I first read information about EFT I was both skeptical and intrigued.  How could something so simple offer so much? 
We were a small group, three participants and one very special teacher.  I allowed myself to share some of my own personal pain and challenge and found the treatment to be both empowering and liberating.  I felt an energy running through my body and I felt a lightness envelop me afterwards.  It was an emotional experience, both exposing my fear and facing it, speaking it aloud and tapping it.  Sometimes we think we're stronger if we hold things in and if we deny or ignore, it will pass.  That may be true, but it stays stuffed inside of us and in ways that are not always apparent, stops us from truly shining.  The pain of the past does not have to be our guide to our future.
It has been six days since I participated in this course.  I tapped again today, on my own, and noticed immediately that the intensity of the emotion that I was working through had subsided significantly. And once again, I was reminded how our lives are our creation and that we can choose to embrace emotions, to release emotions, and to learn new ways of being throughout our journey.
In joy and peace,
brenda
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Learn-Love-Live-A-Life-Coaching-Planner/308254045859234

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The last of human freedoms- the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. Victor Frankl

I find that internal exploration is the precursor to taking action.  when I'm experiencing strong emotion, be it joy, sadness, anger, surprise....these are times that I can tune in to what is happening and what is triggering the emotion.  My daughter just graduated from high school.  I found myself feeling like I'm carrying a heavy weight around my neck.  This is my youngest.  She's healthy, happy, positive and excited about the upcoming phase in her life.  ok, so empty nest syndrome is the natural response I guess.  But I don't think that's it.  So I sit in my sadness.  This is something new for me.  letting the feeling of the moment wash over me.  I have learned that by allowing my feelings free reign, I am able to move through them more easily, more gracefully and with understanding.  and then I can release them and move on. 
So the questions I ask myself are:
what happened? my daughter graduated from high school.
what interpretation do I attach to this event? she's all grown up and doesn't need me anymore.
what emotion results? sadness, a little fear, pride in her
what is my action response to this emotion? I get a little overprotective, pick fights, or try to be a cool mom
If I decide that the way I'm responding isn't strengthening me, giving me joy or moving me forward, I can choose something else. 
what happened? my daughter graduated from high school.
what interpretation do I attach to this event? she is an amazing young woman and I had something to do with that.
what emotion results? tremendous pride, joy in who she is, mixed with a little sadness
what is my action response to this emotion? I celebrate with her.  I offer her my thoughts as one of the wise women in her life and then I clean my house (:))

The beauty of life is that we can choose how we respond to situations.  It's not always easy to shift ways of thinking, but it is empowering to know that we create our reality.

In joy and in peace,
brenda

Wednesday, July 11, 2012





As an educator specializing in ADHD and a life coach, I believe that in order to bring joy into our lives, it's important to ponder what it is we truly want.  It was with that in mind that I was inspired to create this life coaching planner, which made its debut this year.

Learn Love Live -- the 2013 edition of which is about to be available -- is so much more than a datebook and calendar.  It is about finding balance in your life and creating a sense of wellness based on your values, motivated by your goals, and crafted by your actions.

Feel free to take a look at the 2012 Learn Love Live, and discover for yourself how this tool can empower you in the coming year.




In Joy and Peace,
Brenda Hausler

Thursday, December 1, 2011

online marketing

for those of you who market your wares in the world, perhaps you would not find the events of this past week shocking.  I, however, as someone with very little experience, am riding the waves of publishing and distributing and marketing.  So I have been using my wonderful community as an online network resource and people have been learning about Learn, Love, Live and it's fabulous!  They have begun buying my life coaching planner...even more fabulous!  and then all of a sudden: OUT OF STOCK appears in amazon, in barnes and noble and in all t he other book sites that are selling LLL.  I am in a panic, call my publishers, and their hands are tied.  their distributor gave LLL planners to the websites.  The websites sold out (yeah!!) and then it's the sites responsibility to contact the distributor to get more.  If the website does not contact the distributor, then my lovely planner sits online looking pretty.  Well hey, My Learn, Love, Live planner is pretty, but it's a lot more than that!  So I write a secret anonymous letter( I used my daughter's name) to barnes and noble and said that I noticed they were out of stock. How can I order gifts for Christmas and Hanukkah??  and they wrote back saying they did not know when there would be more planners in stock.  sigh.  and my friend Janet did the same exercise on Amazon and their answer was similar.  uh oh.  so I call my publisher again (they are very patient people and are always very polite with me on the phone and I truly appreciate that) and point out that we have a problem here.  so they said they'll look into it.
this was yesterday.
today I went online and ta-da!!  back in stock on amazon.com, bn.com, and amazon.co.uk.  yeah!  I quickly called my publisher to profusely thank them and they were pleased but surprised and said: I guess it's true when you put your wish out to the cosmos, someone will step up and come to your aid.
I guess this would fall under the Learn Love Live category of Gratitude and Initiative.  acknowledge the blessings and go for what you want!
wishing you a fabulous day!
brenda

Saturday, November 5, 2011

create an inspiring year!

We are online!  Learn, Love, Live life coaching planner can be found on Amazon.com and on Barnes&Noble.com. (write in: life coaching planner) Check it out!
Last post I spoke about gratitude...the importance of looking for and acknowledging the good things, the blessings, seeing what is.  I offered the suggestion of a gratitude journal. 
Today I am sharing my thoughts on the title: Create an Inspiring Year!  Our life is our creation. Now that may sound trite, and it's true, that stuff happens that is out of our control, and what is also true is that while we cannot control life, we always, but always have control over how we respond and react to what life brings us.  I'll share a story: when Learn, Love, Live arrived in its lovely package, I sat with the distributor and I was very excited.  The first two comments from him was: it's late and it's expensive.  I felt the color drain from my face.  late and expensive???!!!  but we had talked about timing and cost and the importance, hadn't we??  well, I had a choice of how to react.  I didn't choose well that time.  my response was: attack!!  I got angry and I got upset.  later on (it happened to be a few days before Yom Kippur, a day of built in reflection) I took a step back and zoomed in on what triggered my response.  all fear.  what if no one can afford LLL??  what if no one even knows where to find it??  Once I faced the fear I was able to push past it, and reestablish dialogue and discover that it will work out, and in fact, things are working out quite wonderfully.  So I offer you this: in times of angst and conflict, step back, figure out what triggered you, acknowledge and push through it.  it is so amazing what happens when we face our fear, when we speak it out loud.....it takes the sting right out of it, it releases some of that initial tension and allows us to move forward gracefully, authentically, as we are meant to.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Finished Product

Learn Love Live is finished!  I saw the first copy last week and it's very exciting to see your work evolve from concept to vision through computer technology into a final hard copy.   The planner is lovely.  It's easy to use, attractive to look at, a good size for any bag you're carrying....it's inviting, warm, and just looking at it, makes you feel inspired.  O.K., I'm biased, but truly, I felt a rush when I opened it.  I very much want to get your feedback on the design, on the flow, on the ease, on the content.  Very soon I will have a link to post where you can see  LLL and already order it online.
Remember, Learn Love Live is based on 4 guiding principles: Gratitude, Initiative, Well-being and the Inner Compass.
I want to close this post with a suggestion for Gratitude.  As a life coach, I work with my clients on shifting perspectives that are limiting them to perspectives that open up new ways of seeing things and ultimately to new ways of being in the world.  It begins with Gratitude.  Take a notebook.  Start writing every day 5 good moments that you had that day. Do it every day.  What you are doing in essence is training your brain to see the world as a good and giving place.  I promise you, this practice will change the way you see life, your surroundings...it can truly be life changing! 
Let me know how it goes.
Yours,
brenda